How Do You Use Assertiveness to the Most Positive Effect?
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude of mind” William James 1842-1910
Key to being assertive, even in the most uncomfortable situations, is your ability to be assertive with yourself. If you enter into a situation and anticipate a disaster, then you are unlikely to achieve a positive outcome.
Do you dread certain meetings at work, or returning home and confronting your family or housemates? Perhaps visiting your parents or in-laws fills you with worry? Maybe the thought of shopping for clothes leaves knots in your stomach?
If you can be assertive with yourself, then you’ll find all these situations far easier to deal with. What’s more, you may even enjoy them!
The conversation you have in your head is hugely important. If the voice is unassertive and negative, then your scepticism is likely to ring true. But if you make a concerted effort to mentally prepare yourself for a positive outcome, then it is likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That’s because your mental attitude sets the scene for how you react to others. If you wake up on Monday morning, dreading the week ahead and dragging yourself to work, then you’re setting yourself up for a difficult week. However, if you make a concerted mental effort to have the best week possible, then people will react positively to your attitude and energy and your week will run far more smoothly.
The good news is you can train yourself to be more assertive and enjoy the benefits of a newly positive and energised frame of mind. Here are three simple steps to get you started:
- Firstly think of a situation that you don’t normally look forward to –Whether it is a situation that fills you with absolute dread, or is simply something you’d much rather put off, write it down.
- Next consider how you currently deal with this situation – Do you put it off for as long as you can, or do you dread it and hope that it will be over and done with as quickly as possible?
- Finally write down your new assertive approach to the situation – Imagine a positive outcome – what does it look, feel and sound like and what would it involve? Consider tactics for calmly and assertively dealing with the worst case scenario and make a note of them.